old head. March 28, 2011

Back when my now husband and I were still “talking”, he turned 21. Where I come from (or maybe where I went to college? I forget, but somewhere in my world) talking is an actual stage in the dating game. Pre-official dating, not necessarily hooking up, just talking.

Anyway, now husband turned 21, and I got invited to his surprise birthday party as his sisters friend. I came home from college for the weekend, picked out a cute outfit, and went to the party in a totally terrified state. My nervousness was because I had a secret relationship with my friend’s brother, and also because I thought his ex was going to be there, who his family thought he was getting back together with, which would have been totally awkward, except not awkward at all because no one on earth knew that we were talking (as defined above) besides us. Are you totally confused? Yeah, me too and I lived that crap.

I stuck by my now sister in law’s side for the whole party, because my secret non-relationship with my husband was still a secret (obviously). Midway through the night, my now cousin in law arrived. With her came her boyfriend and her new baby. It was sort of like this (except she only had one baby, and is not a hick):

About 20 minutes after their arrival, her boyfriend exploded a baby bottle all over the table. It was pretty much the highlight of the night.

The point of this little story is this: today we attended a family party on the husband’s side. The baby in the bar is now 8, and tells stories and jokes and knows to roll her eyes when she hears a story about so and so accidentally getting pregnant again.

I.am.old. Sigh.

warning: mushy post February 14, 2011

Pap and his girls.

As an adopted child of a single parent, my first example of real marital love came from a very unlikely place – my widowed grandfather. My grandfather was married shortly after WWII, celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary in the mid 70′s and was widowed only a few years after. I never knew my grandmother, aside from the pictures he has displayed in his bedroom. Although she has now been gone for longer than the amount of time that were married, my grandfather has never taken off his wedding ring. Even as a child, I marveled at how much he must have loved her to still have it on after all these years. Though he used to claim that his knuckles were just so big that he couldn’t get it off, I’d like to believe that something much bigger is what held it in it’s place.

The center diamond on my engagement ring was originally my grandmothers. Poor pap apparently never actually proposed, my grandmother just told him one day that when they got to her parents house, they would announce their engagement. 2 daughters, 6 granddaughters and 2 great granddaughters later (ok, ok, he has a son and a great grandson too, but the point is there’s lots o ladies), he is the patriarch of a long line of strong willed women. They went together and purchased a ring that was given to my mother after she passed away, and my mom gifted it to Michael when he came to ask for my hand in marriage (so old fashioned, but so necessary, amiright?). Being the gentleman that he is, Michael took this gift very seriously, and asked for Pap-pap’s permission as well before he used it. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of not only the love I have been blessed with in my own life, but of the history of love that stayed strong over 25 years and through three children, night shifts, cancer and even death.

Yesterday in church, the Pastor discussed the Love verse from I Corinthians. It’s a verse that even people who aren’t church go-ers have probably heard, and today I was reminded of what it really means from another unlikely source. This morning, my friend sent me a link to an article with the note “this will make you cry, as you are who you are”. She was right – I made it through the whole thing, tear free, only to be done in by the last line. If you have a minute, go ahead and read it. A 95 year old couple celebrating their 80th Valentine’s day together – can you even imagine? It is the perfect story of what real love should look like, on this day that is dedicated to it. As we celebrate love in our own lives, what better example to us than those relationships who have stood the test of time. As Corinthians says, real love truly is patient and kind and without pride. Even in our darkest times, it protects and trusts, hopes and preserves. Whether it be a parent, child, husband, friend, or some other relationship entirely – my wish for you on this day is that you have a love that is all these things, because real love never fails.

true love. February 14, 2011

My niece turns 6 tomorrow and I can hardly believe how quickly the time has gone. For those of you who don’t know, my sister had a baby when she was still in high school.  The first few years were full of teen mom drama and angst, but Muffy was this perfect little bright spot through all of it. My mom has raised her for the last 6 years, and she is the sunshine of my life. As much as I say that I don’t ever want to be a parent, part of me sometimes feels like I already am. Watching her grow up is the most amazingly heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done and I can say with certainty that she is in the top 3 things I have going for me.

Happy birthday little lady, I love you so much like the earth and sky*.

*©Muffyisms 2011

a love story April 29, 2009

boy meets girls at sisters dance recital, she is dressed like pocahontas. boy falls in love. boy forgets about girl, has two girlfriends with the same name, instead. boy re-meets girl at Rita’s, makes fun of her for being dark*. boy makes girl a birthday cd, girl is excited. it is indian rap music. girl cries, hates boy. girl goes back to college, boy instant messages her. girl laughs and writes her friends embarrassing emails about boy. boy calls girl, she tells him never to call again,  he is her friends brother. boy stalks girl until she gives in.  boy’s ex girlfriend comes back, wants to be in love again. boy says no. girl locks boys keys in his car 3 separate times. boy’s sisters finally gets over it, phew. boy and girl log many miles on the turnpike. girl graduates, there is no room in her mother’s inn. girl sleeps on boys living room floor. girl finally moves out, cries about not being married. boy tells girl to shut the f up.

girl gets this for christmas.

the end.

*The exact phrase was “Man, its dark out here…but not as dark as Bekka”